[Sinclair] It's perhaps five minutes or less after he's gone upstairs that Sinclair gets to the common room, still working on her Pete's Wicked. She doesn't have a second one in her hand; when Alex said it was past his bedtime, she believed it. Her assumption is that he's getting washed up or already is. Her assumption is that he won't want a beer. It's also possible she wouldn't have thought to bring him one anyway. She's not known for her manners.
She glances behind her, down the stairs. She glances around the common room after she steps in and sees him. "Sorry about that," she says, and leaves it there.
He has no way of knowing she hasn't even said that to Joey and Charlie. And she killed them. Sort of.
[Alexander] Alex is standing in front of the TV, watching ESPN2 or ESPNU or whatever the hell they were up to now. His plate of food is held a few inches below his mouth, and he's shoveling food in about as fast as he can wield a fork.
When Sinclair comes up the steps, he glances at her briefly, lowers his plate a little, and finishes chewing the mouthful he's working on before putting together the next.
"What for?" It seems a genuine question.
[Sinclair] Despite the heaviness of the moon outside, or perhaps because of it, Sinclair doesn't bristle. And it's her: she might bristle at anything. At the fact that he's sitting there eating. At the fact that he is asking her to explain the apology. She just exhales, and lifts her bottle. Before she puts it to her lips, however, she says: "The jab about Echo claiming you."
[Alexander] "Oh." He thinks for a minute. "Whatever, no big deal."
[Sinclair] She quirks a brow at that, lowering the bottle, but doesn't argue. The neck of the beer hangs from between her fingers, the glass warming in response to her body temperature. "I have two questions. I can tell you're dying to know what they are, so I won't leave you in suspense. The first is what you though of Echo. The second is what made you Es Te Ef Yu down there."
[Alexander] "I don't think anything of Echo," he responds. "I barely met her; I don't really give a fuck. And I STFUed because even I get sick of snapping witty retorts once in a while." He shovels another forkful of food into his mouth, then decides he's had enough and tosses his fork down with a clatter. Turning, he puts the plate on the coffee table. "Why'd you chase me up here to ask?"
[Sinclair] There's a pause there as Sinclair thinks before she speaks, which is and of itself something new. She's even quiet long enough to take a drink of her beer, leaning against the wall beside the stairwell, several paces away from where he sits.
"She asked me if there was something going on with you and I," Sinclair says, which is not an answer. It isn't even rightly an explanation. "I came up here because I was done eating, and because I didn't want to sit at 'her table' anymore." A beat. "And because most of the people downstairs were either people I don't know, don't care if I know, or people I've nearly killed."
Another pause. She cocks her head to the side. "And because I should call my folks. And because I wanted to apologize."
[Alexander] "Yeah?" He sits on the coffee table beside his plate, feet apart. "What'd you say?"
She mentions her folks -- Alexander blinks, then scoffs. "No way. You have parents? Where?"
[Sinclair] "That you're my friend," she answers simply, and perhaps a bit quieter than the rest... though that may be because Joey comes upstairs and passes by on her way to Room 7, because a few people head up to the roof and can be heard in the stairwell during their ascent. Nobody pays them or their conversation any mind, but Sinclair watches Joey disappear through the archway to the hall before she looks back at Alex.
Her lips, colored a pearlescent pink rather than a blood red or edgy bronze or emocore black, twist into a faint smirk. "Yeah, I have parents. In Kansas."
She finally leaves the wall, walking towards the couch and then taking up the seat at one end. Her Vans are nudged off her feet -- her ankle socks are yellow, and there are daisies on them -- before she folds her legs up onto the cushion with her, one knee aimed at the ceiling, the other leg resting on its side on the upholstery.
[Alexander] That word, friend, makes Alexander blink. Not because he's never had a friend before!, and would now blossom into a complete human being and learn to love and all that shit -- but simply because it's unexpected. It's not a word he would've thought to apply to Sinclair.
Though it does fit.
"Huh," he says, and that's all he says for a while. "Okay." He leans his elbows on his knees for a while, scrubs his face. Then she mentions Kansas and he barks a laugh, the heels of his hands still pressed to his cheekbones.
"Kansas," he says. His hands slap down. "You've gotta be kidding me. I gotta call you Dorothy now. Where's Toto? And who'm I, the Scarecrow or the Tin Man?"
Because he couldn't possibly be cowardly.
[Sinclair] The smirk remains, and her eyebrow lifts. She isn't done with her beer yet, even now -- she's nursing that think like it's the last beer left in the whole wide world -- but she doesn't do more than take a small sip of it. He moves around, always moving around, scrubbing his face and laughing loudly, but Sinclair is oddly still. She breathes out a huff of laughter, quieter than that harsh sound he lets out.
"Yeah, Kansas," she confirms. "And I would've pegged you for the Wizard, actually. I don't think you're brainless." A beat. "And the Tin Man wanted a heart."
She tips the bottle but not her head back, draining it except for a few dregs and bit of foam at the bottom. Leaning forward, she sets it down on the coffee table and then re-settles against the couch. "You keep seeming so damn surprised. I was a cheerleader. I have parents. I'm from Kansas." She laughs, but there's a flatness to it. "It's not like I was born with fangs, Alex."
[Alexander] Alexander sobers; for a moment, incredibly, he looks faintly abashed.
"Yeah well." He scratches the side of his chest. It's very nearly winter now, and temperatures are dropping near freezing. It's warm in the Brotherhood, though, and Alex is still in cargo shorts and sleeveless tees, most of them, apparently, in some shade of red. Tonight it's a deep, rich, bloody hue, and the logo stamped on it --
well, it's actually a big, collegiate-font H.
"I think it's not too hard to understand why," he finishes. "I mean. Sometimes the stuff you say? Like that crack about claim downstairs. Or the way you look at people. I know you don't really think... or you don't think you think we're sacks of meat, but christ, sometimes the look in your eyes makes me feel safer in a cage with a tiger.
"People don't see your past and who you were or how you really think. Y'know? They see how you act, here and now. And you're an American fucking werewolf in Chicago."
[Sinclair] He should be; abashed, that is. It's not a far cry from the last conversation they had, before she all but passed out in his bed and slept for a full day there. She's more than just a primal, violent monster, but that no more means that she's a gentle soul than occasional moments of understanding make Alex a doormat. She's not a cartoon. She's not a caricature.
And once upon a time, she lived in a ranch house in Wichita with her mother and her father. She played sports. She went to class. She had friends that did not have as many or more tattoos than she does. She did not have any tattoos at all, no elaborate scarification put on her body for reasons unbeknownst to anyone. Once upon a time, she was a real live girl
and people were not afraid to touch her.
She listens, for what that's worth. Her arms are tucked in close but not folded over her chest. Her jaw tightens at the you don't think you think bit, eyes flashing once. But her eyes the drop, and she breathes soundlessly. The only evidence of its depth is the expansion of her chest and shoulders, their deflation and sinking as she exhales silently through her nose. She drops her eyes to the edge of the table for a moment.
Two heartbeats later, Sinclair unfolds her legs and bends over at the waist, picking up her shoes. "Yeah." She stands slowly, though there's still that sense of effortless control to her movements that suggests she could be across the room and holding him against the wall in an eyeblink if she wanted.
She leaves the beer bottle, and her shoes dangle from the hooked fingers of her left hand as she steps past him, in front of him. Her right hand is held out, ostensibly for a lazy, sliding five. "Later, Alex."
[Alexander] He doesn't highfive her. He has no idea that's what's expected; who the hell holds their hand out for a lazy-five on the way past, anyway?
What Alexander does do is take her hand briefly. Her hand doesn't feel like the hand of an american werewolf in Chicago. It doesn't really feel like the hand of a pampered cheerleader princess either. Though then again, that probably wasn't what Sinclair was.
She played sports. She probably beat the boys at their own games.
But Alexander squeezes her hand, anyway. The kinsman's hand is a solid chunk of muscle and bone, very little give. The knuckles are dense, incredibly strong from years of systematic abuse disguised as martial arts training: microfractured over and over and healed over and over until the osseus framework is reinforced by innumerable tiny scars, formed into a structure literally stronger than concrete, as dangerous as a weapon.
"Later, Sinclair," he says.
And when she gets to the door: "Hey Sinclair? I know you're not just a monster." He shrugs. "For whatever that's worth."
[Sinclair] The truth is, Alex would be safer in a cage with a tiger. Any tiger caged would be one born behind bars, or one captured because it was not strong enough, fast enough, cunning enough to escape. It is hard to imagine Sinclair captive somehow, held back in some way. It is hard to see her as anything but wild.
Because that is what she is. She is strong. She is fast. And she's cunning. She knows all too well now how unsafe even her allies are when caged in a room with her, hedged into an alleyway with her. As she told Joey, she couldn't blame her if she wanted to move out, if she wanted to hate her forever. Both the Rotagar and Charlie bear scars they'll have til they die because of a momentary loss of control on her part, control too late regained. She does not really expect forgiveness.
Just as she doesn't expect Alex, or any of the kin she's met thus far, to stop being afraid of her.
Just as she doesn't expect him to take her hand and hold onto it, even briefly.
Sinclair's step hitches, and she pauses to look down at him rather than simply returning the squeeze and continuing on her way. She tips her head to the side, staring at him with a distant curiosity. It isn't her fault, but it's comparable to the look of an animal considering whether to pounce on something or let it go. To human eyes it looks detached, univested, uncaring. Alex isn't quite human. Sinclair is only related to humanity; she seems to have very little on her own.
Her hands are perfect. It isn't vanity that keeps them so. It's that no matter what she does to her body, her regenerative powers outclass it almost instantly. So: her skin is, especially tonight, more like silk than flesh. Her fingernails are hard and filed to bluntness, painted the color of wine. Feverish, melting warmth floods his hand where hers touches it. Sinclair doesn't let go for a moment, and then her head straightens and she blinks and the look in her eyes changes. She lets go.
She doesn't walk to the door.
"...You mind if I crawl in bed with you later?"
[Alexander] Alex, beginning to turn away, hesitates. He turns back, and he's frowning. For a while he seems to be debating whether or not to open his mouth. The rarity of that need not be commented on.
Then, "I don't want us to fuck." It's out; it could be viewed as arrogance, or worse, rejection; it's possible he's prepared for violent retaliation, and to be certain, he's almost quivering with sudden tension. A few seconds unspool. He goes on.
"I just... like it like this. How it is between us. And whether or not you had anything in mind other than a one night stand, I think it'd change." And, a literature major after all: "Irrevocably, I think."
[Sinclair] Her eyebrows tugs together after those first six words, sudden and tight and simple. But it's not immediately after he speaks. It's a second later, as she reads the tension that if she were in a hunting, fighting form she would see as the mark of prey. Fear. That is not how she sees it right now. Her expression pulls so quickly and so briefly it's hard to understand if it's anger or surprise or any number of things.
Sinclair doesn't say anything, and those seconds unspool, unravel, stretch out between them like taffy. Her hands are at her sides, fingers limp but sort of loosely, lazily curled. Her relaxation does not make anyone think of sleep; it makes most people who see her think of the lazy confidence of a beast who can go from lounging to attacking in a split second.
There's a lot she could say to that: all of it, everything he says. Instead of any of it, she says this, and rather softly: "Why?"
[Alexander] "Why what?" He's briefly off-balance. "Why do I think it'll change things?"
[Sinclair] She nods, simply, standing and looking down at him as a result. "Yeah," adds Sinclair, as though her nod isn't quite clear enough.
[Alexander] "Because," he's at a loss here; gropes for words for a moment. Then he finds them. "Because it always changes shit, Sinclair. For me. I can't think of a single chick I've banged that I got up still respecting."
[Sinclair] That makes the Galliard's eyebrow cock upward. Her expression is blatantly ...something, but that doesn't mean it's easy to name. It could be called disgusted, but it isn't quite. It could be called bewildered, but it isn't entirely that, either. She seems a bit taken aback. Not disappointed.
"That's really fucked up, Vaughn." Then there's a beat of a pause, and this time she doesn't lose her frown quite so quickly. It pulls across her features, and stays. She shakes her head. "I'm not going to force you into anything, Alex. But..."
Any number of things. But.
"...I was just talking about being in bed with you," she finishes, her expression changing from frown to near-wince. It makes her look young. She looks like she wants to fidget, twist, but she doesn't. She's still. "I liked that."
[Alexander] She calls it fucked up. There's a note of defensiveness when he says, "Yeah well," and leaves it there unanswered; unanswered for.
Then Alex sighs -- not out of boredom or exasperation or, god forbid, emo-ness -- but simply because the subject discomfits him. He rolls his head on his neck, reaches around to knead the back of it with his hand.
"I know what you meant. I just figured I should lay that out on the table. If you're cool with that, then yeah, come crash. My alarm goes off at six, though," there's a sort of deliberate flippancy to all this, as though to offset the previous topic, "and you oughta bring another blanket so I don't have to fight you for the one all night."
[Sinclair] [This should be good]
Dice Rolled:[ 2 d10 ] 2, 2 (Failure at target 6)
[Sinclair] [...GLASS WALKERS DON'T FAIL.]
Dice Rolled:[ 2 d10 ] 7, 8 (Success x 2 at target 7)
[Sinclair] Yeah, well seems to be enough for Sinclair, as far as that's concerned. It's twisted. It's evident by the fact that he said it that he has some modicum of respect for her, even if it begins in fear for his basic health and safety. It's evident that for whatever reason, he doesn't want to lose that -- or risk losing that -- by fucking her.
Alex moves the conversation back towards lightness, flippancy, that edged banter they usually trade. And Sinclair just stares at him for a moment, then exhales audibly, quickly. "Yeah," she says quietly, as level and aspirated as a gust of wind.
She rubs at her face with the heels of her hands, massages her brow. Her long arms, not so much slender as almost elegantly toned, drop back down to either side of her frame. She looks at him.
"It won't wake me up," is all she says in the end, which is paltry compared to all she could say.
All she wants to say.
[Alexander]
Dice Rolled:[ 4 d10 ] 1, 5, 6, 10 (Success x 1 at target 6)
[Alexander] The thing about Alexander is, he's not the knucklehead he sometimes pretends to be, and that it's so easy to write him off as. There's real intelligence in that hard head of his, and occasionally, true astuteness and perception.
He uses those to foul ends, for the most part. He uses his ability to read another person to seek weakness, to plan attacks. Once in a while, though, he simply --
-- looks at someone to see them.
There's a moment, now, when Alexander's dark eyes fix on Sinclair. Whatever he sees makes him frown faintly. A pause; then he decides to say nothing of it. The kinsman nods at the Garou that, by and large, the city would consider as having the unenviable job of warding him.
"See ya later, Sinclair," he says. And he picks a last shred of meat off his plate, leaving it there for the staff when he gets up to go.
[Sinclair] They are, neither of them, as simply categorized or pigeonholed as so many would have them be. She can do more than destroy. He has an education under his belt that outstrips that of just about any Garou he might come across. Including the one in front of him. As though it matters. As though that makes a difference to any of them, they who care about nothing but the war. Nothing at all but how it feels to change shape, tear the life right from some twisted thing's heart. As though any of them would be impressed, or jealous, or wish --
Sinclair looks right back at him as he sets his gaze on her. She doesn't flinch away. It's possible she knows he's seeing her, possible she can tell that he's looking under the surface. It's also possible that she's oblivious, lost in her own thoughts on the matter.
The fact that Sinclair has been the only Glass Walker at the Brotherhood, and then the elder of the tribe, and therefore his warder in this city, has mostly gone unspoken between them. She doesn't step up and claim him by name at moots. She doesn't talk about him to her packmates. She doesn't talk about him to other Garou much at all, keeping her words sparse even when they ask.
The fact that there is now a Fostern of the tribe in the city and that Sinclair will not long be their elder has gone completely unmentioned. The fact that Echo will, as soon as that happens, then be his guardian unless Sinclair challenges her for it...
...she sure as hell isn't going to talk to him about that. Not right now. Perhaps not at all.
"Later, Alex," she says as she pads in socked feet out of the common room, repeating herself to no real benefit, because it isn't as though either of them care about politeness.
'Later' could mean about an hour. That's the time it takes for her to talk to her mother and father on the phone late on Thanksgiving evening. That's the time it takes for her to get up and shower, washing makeup off her face and sweat off her skin. That's the time it takes for Sinclair to dry her hair again, to sit on her bed with her thick red comforter and think about wrapping it around herself and taking it to a different bed, just as narrow, to share space but little else with Alexander Vaughn.
Her friend.
She doesn't expect him to be waiting up for her after he's gone to bed. Which is for the best, because after about an hour, with her hair dried and her face cleaned, Sinclair just tucks her legs under the bedcovers, turns to face the wall, and closes her eyes to sleep.
come find me
13 years ago